Maktoub 3aleyk ya Sibawayhi (Part I)

So, I decided to go for a walk this past weekend. I didn’t know where I was going or where I would be an hour from when I started, but I was certain that I would end up somewhere, hopefully close to the Old City (the Medina as we say in Arabic) at some point in time . . . eventually. I knew and was certain that as long as I moved my feet and continued in my chosen path, that fate would decide my course and destiny. I walked out of the school’s big metal gate and took to the hill that was to my immediate left. I turned out that I had chosen a path that took me past the beautiful Muhammad V mosque and its huge minaret and through much of the new city. After walking for sometime, I found myself at the entrance of the Medina, whose huge white Bab was just swarming with people going in and out, kids running and playing all around, men having a break at the corner coffeehouse, and whose paved entrance could best be described through the hustle and bustle of cars and buses as they moved their cargo to and from the grasp of the Medina’s walls, the broken battlements that at that very moment, reminded me so much of my belovèd city of Fès. Without any delay, I entered the hallowed doorway and stepped into the maze that now rested before me. Lucky for me, I had brought my camera, so that I might record the memory of the sights I was to see and the places I was to visit, which are sometimes hard to remember and almost impossible to describe to someone who has never seen such an amazing web of shops and homes meshed perfectly into one. And as I turned the many corners and wandered the many paths that were offered to me, I couldn’t help but soak in the “puzzlingness” of the labyrinth I had just entered and whose exit was for the moment, lost from my knowledge.

I eventually came to a dead end and found therein, a group of kids who were surprised that an American would visit their little corner of the world. It was such an awesome moment, because these kids had never seen a camera like mine, and their fascination with instant visual and audio technology was clearly demonstrated with their crowing and huddling around me, in order to catch a glimpse of the little gadget that had just filmed them in their element. It was so cool to be there with them and to talk with them, because not only did I get some sweet pictures, but I also left them with a little lesson about the four most important things in life: “one’s studies, one’s work ethic, one’s knowledge and most importantly and above all else,” as I told them, “one’s faith in God.”

I left those little kids (May God keep and bless them) and continued to walk the streets, when something caught my wandering eye. A beautiful Darraa-eeya, the dress of Islamic scholars and students of the book (the Qur’an), was displayed for my two eyes to behold on the side of the street. And as I stopped to admire the quality and the look of the Darraa-eeya, the owner of the shop, Si Ahmad, bade me to come in and to try it on within the walls of humble little Hanut or “Shop.” I accepted his invitation and immediately fell in love with the robe, deciding then and there that I would buy it and thus help this kind brother with his small business. And as I walked out of that shop and headed home for the day, I couldn’t help but think about everything that transpired that very day; that perhaps destiny had decreed for me to buy that Darraa-eeya and to look the part of a one who studies, learns and humbly follows God and the right path. “Path”. . . I had taken many paths that day . . . and they all led me to that man’s shop. “Hmmmmmm . . .” I wondered . . . “Path.” But wait, what if I had taken a different route, a different path? Would I have still ended up at that man’s shop? I don’t know the answer to that . . . as we say in Arabic, Allah Allem (God [is the one that] knows). But it’s interesting to think about it, isn’t it? Especially when one of the paths that you chose leads you to a dead end and the only thing you see upon arriving there is a marble plaque inscribed with the word: “Al-Maktoub” which is Arabic for “It is Written (for you)” or in other words, “Such is your Destiny!” When you really stop to think about everything that happened to you that day, you can’t help but wonder that such events were certainly not a coincidence and that perhaps it was your destiny to have walked where you walked and to have seen what you saw and to have met those you met and to have lived what you lived. That my friends, is destiny; that my friends, is life!

Wedding Bells? Far from it! Well . . . maybe!

So, in one of my last conversations with Mama Aïsha back in Fès, she expressed her interest and excitement for me getting married really soon. The conversation actually resulted from her catching a quick glimpse of this new invention called “Facebook” as I sat in the living room writing friends short messages and reading the news from back home. She actually thought one of my friends on the site was a real “Zweena” (Beauty) in her sweet, motherly opinion. And she was sure right about that, tell you what! Mothers are ALWAYS right!

Dating here in the Middle East is a big deal! Let me take that back: It’s a HUGE deal! I remember one time back at BYU I asked a girl (no names here people) from the Middle East, if she ever wanted to get together and “hang out.” Her response: “Sorry, I don’t do that in my culture!” I was shocked, I mean, this was America, this was BYU, Happy Valley, the dating captial of the world, and she said “No”?! I remember learning a lot about Arab culture, social norms and proper interaction between the sexes from that one experience and I thought I had it ALL down (or at least, some minute fragment of it). Boy, did all that come crashing down in a tower of confusion and flabbergasting stiffness when a friend of mine (a girl) gave me hug in public upon my leaving Fès last year. Here was a lovely young woman and she had come to see me off at the train station and I was shocked that instead of shaking my hand as I extended it, she wrapped her arms around me and said goodbye. I didn’t know what to do, I mean, here was this girl, we were IN public, there were people everywhere, she was VEILED, and I thought I was gonna get yelled at or hurt or maybe cut or something. Luckily no one said a thing; I was safe, but shocked stiff nonetheless.

Like I said before, dating is a big deal, and it should be to everyone! I mean, if you think about it, it’s the window to getting to know one’s significant other really well before one actually commits. Thinking about my current situation and where I’ll be in a couple of months, I thought I would create a set of “tools” to help me cheat the system! One of these tools is this survey. I’m thinking I’m going to send this home in my weekly email to my mom with specific instructions for her to help me find a wife for me, Middle East Style. You laugh at my idea, but In Shaa Allah, this survey will be handed out by my mom to all the ladies that are possibly to be my wife.


Question No. 1:
How old are you?
a) 18
b) 19
c) 20
d) 21

Question No. 2:
How much of a wife’s time needs to be spent in the kitchen?
a) 90% or less
b) 94% or less
c) 96% or less
d) 98% of more

Question No. 3:
On the 1 to 10 scale, How of a good cook are you?
1) I can’t cook worth a dime
10) I can cook like George Foreman

Question No. 4:
How much money does your father have?
a) A lot of it
b) Stacked
c) Extremely Wealthy
d) Does not know what do with his money

Question No. 5:
How many kids do you want to have?
a) 4 or more
b) 5 or more
c) 6 or more
d) 10 or more

Question No. 6:
Bottom Line, Do you also want a career?
a)Yes
b)No

Question No. 7:
What percentage of your money is spent on clothes?
a) 1%
b) 2%
c) 5%
d) 90% or more

Question No. 8:
Define Chocolate:
a) Sweet Dark Thing
b) Tasty Dessert
c) Soul Food
d) A women’s best friend

Question No. 9:
Did you major in any of the following majors:
a) Social Science
b) Children Education
c) Family Therapy
d) Dance

Question No. 10:
Where would you want to go on a honeymoon?
a) Pakistan/Afghanistan borders
b) Baghdad
c) Somalia
d) Darfur

Who's Your Baghdadi???

I thought I would start this entry by making you (the reader) laugh just a little bit. I recently came across this incredibly funny video and I cannot tell you how much I’m still laughing when I stop to think about the creative genious of those who put this commercial together. My friend Lawrence and I still laugh when we quote lines from the commercial to each other! Gosh, laughing is great, isn’t it? I have to give a “Shout Out” though, to my buddy Micah Boyer for letting me know about this clip that will have you laughing too! “I guarantee it!”

So, you know when you make a goal for yourself and you’re doing really well at keeping it up and then you find yourself becoming a little flimsy about keeping up with what you had planned, because you started this INTENSIVE Arabic program in Tangier and you really want to keep up your goal, but find that you can’t or there’s not enough time and then you’re stuck because you started this particular goal in the first place to record your travel experiences and journeys in Morocco and then you’re like: “Awwwwwwwwww Cree-ap!” Ever feel that way? I do! But suddenly, I woke up and smelled the Couscous and was all like, “Man, I keep this blog up, because if I don’t then who will?” Well that’s pretty much how I feel right now, I mean, yeah I’m busy and stuff, but so are millions of other people who still manage to keep up their blogs while being immersed in so many activities and routines of life. And I realized that perhaps, each entry doesn’t have a freakin’ novel (which can be my style sometimes). It’s just gotta be short and sweet, Doogie Howser style. You know what I’m talking about? Maybe you don’t, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is this blog and my experiences and what I see each and everyday! That, and crazy shirt ideas! So far I’ve had about 6 “revelations” come to me both at different times and in different situations and they’re still coming. When I get back to the states, I’m gonna copyright them, print them and sell them at Monster truck rallies and make a FORTUNE! That’s right, you heard me Ladies and Gentlemen, a Fortune! A Killing! Bank! Moolah! Dinero! Paisano! “Who’s Your Baghdadi” is just the start, my friends! It’s only the beginning!

The Creative Art of Cartooning

So after writing a little bit about Samih and his tragic loss, I thought I would include some of what the Arab press and mainly, the cartoonists in these Arabic newspapers, are thinking with regards to the current situation in Gaza and in Palestine, specifically now that Hamas has essentially won control over the whole of the Gaza strip. And it’s fascinating to see what these cartoonists have come up with. They certainly are a creative group of individuals. The cartoons are in Arabic and I’ve tried my best to translate what the captions say. I also wanted to express some of my own thoughts as to what these cartoonists are trying to convey through their drawings. I only hope that when guns fail, cartoons will move the Palestinian people to realize that killing each other has no purpose except to further alienate anyone from them and their hopes and desires of peace in the Middle East. Enjoy!


Source: Al-Hayat Al-Jadida (Palestinian Authority), June 18, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 1: In this dreadful drawing, the masked Hamas fighter is saying: “The government is illegitimate,” while the other caption, written above the severed head of a woman can mean one of two things. It can mean “Legitimate slaughtering” or “Slaughtering in the manner of Sharii3 [Islamic Law]” the last of the two interpretations pointing directly at Hamas and its desire to establish a state founded upon Sharii3 or Islamic Law in Gaza


Source: Al-Ayyam (Palestinian Authority), June 21, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 2: In this picture, a member of Hamas is talking to his fellow Palestinian, dead and in the grave, saying: “Come on, wake up Infidel! Let’s talk!” From what I understand in this cartoon, the dead Palestinian is a member of Fatah, Hamas’ rival in the government and in this ongoing ideological clash in the Palestine. In the eyes of Hamas, Fatah and its members are the ones that have destroyed Palestine and its hopes for freedom and justice, because they [Fatah] are the ones that have sold out to the West and its corrupting and blasphemous culture. In other words, the members of Fatah are indeed Muslims, but they are Muslims who have gone astray and have fallen from the right path. Therefore, it’s okay to address them Infidels


Source: Al-Dustour (Jordan), June 21, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 3: This cartoons reads at the top: “The light at the end of the Palestinian Tunnel” and here we see a masked militant (presumably a member of Hamas) pushing an innocent Palestinian man (a personification of the entire Palestinian population) to his death


Source: Al-Ittihad (UAE), June 16, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 4: This cartoon comes from the Gulf and here the TV reporter announces: “The statement that reached us asserts that the Palestinians will strive to liberate Palestine from the Palestinian occupation!” How else can you explain such a brutal and bloody civil war that has claimed so many innocent Palestinian lives? And what are the fruits of such death and destruction?


Source: Al-Mustaqbal (Lebanon), June 19, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 5: This cartoon shows the two fronts of the occupied Palestinian lands, the West Bank on the right and the Gaza strip on the left. The surgeon, on the right, is hoping to fix and to heal the West Bank whose circumstances and governmental situation have been labeled as an “Emergency Government,” while on the left, we have an individual, a member of Hamas, actually taking his knife to stab and butcher into Gaza and above him is the label “Government of Calamities,” which can also be translated as “Government of Disasters”


Source: Al-Quds Al-Arabi (Jerusalem), June 16, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 6: This cartoon depicts a Palestinian man waving the Palestinian flag and a member of Hamas, whose flag is green, stealing the green corner of the Palestinian flag for himself. He and his party are the ones who have “high-jacked” or stolen the Palestinian cause and have destroyed the hopes and dreams of a people united under one flag and one purpose


Source: Al-Yawm (Saudi Arabia), June 17, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 7: This cartoon is labeled as: “The Weapon of the Resistance” and if you look carefully, you’ll notice that the bullets are in backwards. The Palestinians and particularly, Hamas, have really shot themselves in the foot


Source: Al-Ghad (Jordan), June 17, 2007 (many thanks)


Source: Teshreen (Syria), June 25, 2007 (many thanks)

Cartoon No. 8 and Cartoon No 9: These cartoons are highlighting the current conspiracy theories that the United States and Israel are the culprits behind the current situation in Gaza and it could be true, it could not be . . . I don’t know. The caption on Cartoon No. 8 reads: “The American Recipe for Creative Chaos” while Cartoon No. 9 depicts both “Gaza” and the “the West Bank” being cooked in the pot by the United States and Israel. Former Al-Hayat (the daily Lebanese Arabic newspaper) editor Jihad Al-Khazen described the theory best when he wrote: “When the Bush administration pressured President Mahmoud Abbas into holding elections in the PA, they both knew that Hamas would win, not thanks to any achievements [of its own] but due to the corruption within Fatah. Hamas [indeed] won, but it is designated in the U.S. and Europe as a terrorist organization, and thus the Bush administration achieved its aim. It boycotted the Palestinians, laid siege to their government, and starved [them], using Hamas’ [designation as] a terrorist organization as an excuse. Just as Fatah could not believe that it had lost its power, Hamas cannot believe that it had come into power, and both factions have thus played into the hands of the Palestinians’ enemies in the U.S. and Israel. How can the Hamas and Fatah leaders ignore the fact that it was Bush’s government, and the Sharon and Olmert governments, that pushed [Hamas and Fatah] to this situation, and that the [internal] Palestinian fighting is [actually] an Israeli aspiration?”

Tangier: City of the Tanned Tangerine

“Tangier de mis Amores!” Probably what some Spanish writer would say about this beautiful city! It mean it’s right here, as North as you can possibly get in Morocco, lying on the coast, between the Atlantic and the Mediterranean and only minutes away from some amazing beaches and some fun waiting to happen! You know, the more I travel and get out in this country, the more I’m taken back by the beauty that is virtually hidden in a kingdom roughly a little bit bigger than California. I don’t think that there’s any country in the entire and I mean, the ENTIRE Arab World, with such plurality in culture and language and such an intermixing and conglomeration of cultures and peoples and beauties of life. Indeed, East does meet West here, I mean, it’s only 30 minutes from Spain and I DEFINITELY recommend it to anyone wanting to get away for a couple of weeks. Morocco: the land of the setting sun! Where you can lounge in Tangier, take a dip in the splendidly clean and clear blue water beaches of Moulay Bousselham, as you sip some tea in Marrakesh, strike it big with a smart business in Casablanca, wandering through the Aladdin-esque streets of Fès, the world’s oldest medieval city, as you plan a road trip with your buddies through entire cities and villages of red dirt and mud, and you finish your tour aboard a spitting camel on a trek across the Sahara, and thus, you end your day, relaxing and indulging in the true magnificence of the beautiful painting that brings the day to a close, as you prepare yourself to sleep in Bedouin tents for the night and to wake up the following morning to perhaps the most incredible sunrise you have ever experienced. My friends, I give you Morocco: A land of plenty! Not a land of milk and honey, but a land that certainly flows with spice and passion and whose food will utterly leave you asking for more. Well, the vast majority of times. I think I’m going to come back and buy a little house here one day, In Shaa Allah, and spend my days with people who live, and worship, and laugh, and love! May God continue to bless these humble and people and keep them, as we say in Arabic, “noble of heart.”

So, I’ve recently been down about the death of a friend in Palestine. May God rest his soul! Samih (Pronounced SameeH) Al-Madhoun, the cousin of my best friend and brother Hani Al-Madhoun, was recently killed in the Gaza Strip by Hamas gunmen. He has been a victim of hate and war that has recently ravaged the Gaza Strip, a clash between Fatah and Hamas that has transformed itself into a bloody civil war, with Palestinian killing Palestinian and for what? For Power? For “Legitimacy”? For the “Liberation” of Palestine? Liberation from whom? From the Palestinian “Occupiers” of Palestine? Samih is just another sad loss for the struggling people of Palestine and their cause for freedom and justice. Samih and I had talked several times, enjoying several pleasant video conversations over the Internet as we exchanged words and laughs. They were good times! I called him Samih, he called me Abu El Salvador . . . I even sang a song to this guy! He was a good man and now he’s gone. He was the talk of town from what Hani said; he was in his car with some of his companions when they were gunned down, but Samih was just wounded though. Then the Hamas Bastards (Please, pardon my language) dragged him from his car, shot him in the legs, and then the chest and stomach. Executed the brother right there in public! He went down like a man though, not wanting to kneel down to those gunmen, even though they were for that moment, ever more powerful than him. As he died, he yelled: “3ashat Fateh!” or “Long Live Fateh!” He was the one who got Hani into Egypt and did him the favor of making some calls so he could get his Visa to the U.S. He was the last leader left holding President Abbas’ Al-Muntada or Presidential Palace. It really broke my heart to hear these sad news and I pray that God will be with Hani’s family and others who are still running for their lives. There were more than 10 attempts on his life before (and all of them failed!) but this time they got to him. Times are hard and they’re getting even harder! Allah Yir7amu!

Well, I should get back to doing some good work while on this Arabic program, and yes, two weeks have gone by, and I’m starting to get control of the system and the schedule. This Arabic program is definitely intense in every and I mean, EVERY sense of the word, but I’m up to it and I’m learning so much and succeeding at it, it’s great! I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’m eating well, I'm sleeping well, I’m safe, and Al-Hamdu Lillah, I’m making progress every day, even it is the slightest amount. “Rome wasn’t built in one day” is what Johnny over here just told me, so here’s to continued and determined efforts to learn Arabic! “What you are to be, you are now becoming!” And as for this Nameless Wanderer, such is definitely the case. “Inn yanSurkumu Allahu, falaa ghaliba lakum” (If God has granted you victory, there is nothing that can prevail against you!)

Yes . . . reminiscing IS good; but it’s MUCH better when it becomes a reality!

So I thought I would take today a little easy, only because my program in Tangier starts on the morrow and I need to pack and get my rest since the train that I’m taking there leaves Fès at 1 in the freaking morning! Anyways, like Rocky told Adrian in the first Rocky, he said: “Adrian, you gotta do . . . what you gotta do!” So that’s just what I’m gonna do!

Anyways, for those of you who read my blog a couple of days ago, I wrote about Ramadan and fasting and dates and the delicious traditional Moroccan soup called Harira (Hmmmmmm) and that night, to my WONDERFUL and CRAVING delight, Mama had prepared a dinner that began with dates and ended with like 4 bowls of Harira! Holy HFAC, she’s gotta be insprired! It was freaking awesome! Made me want to stand up and yell “Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahu Akbar!” Abu TalHa style, that’s for nang sure!



So, the next time you really want something, have some faith and believe that you’ll get it; I did and I was happy! In fact, last night, there was still some Harira left and I could not have been more pleased with the delicious delicacy that is Moroccan Harira. Oh, and just so you know what it’s got, it has: beef stock, little eeny weeny bits of meat, salt, ginger, garlic, pepper, tomatoes, tumeric, chickpeas (garbanzos), rice, onions, noodles, lemon, parsley, cilantro, saffron and something else . . . Mama’s love!

I’m out! See you in Tangiers!



Coming Soon: Tales from the Qarawiyyiin – Part I: The Awakening

It's always good to reminisce a little, you know?

So, I can still remember the early morning Call to Prayer going off around 5:25 in the morning here in Hayy Al-Amal. “Allahu Akbar” still resounds in my memory and my thoughts reminisce with such fondness last year’s Ramadan celebration. Ramadan: a month of fasting, a month of prayer, a month of getting closer to God; a Holy month indeed. Ramadan Al-Mubarak, as it is called, requires that the believers fast for the entire month, from sunrise to sunset, that they may learn self-restraint, patience, humility, empathy, and many other divine attributes. I remember those early mornings during Ramadan, waking up at 5 in the a.m. for suHuur (which is the early morning meal before starting your fast for the day) and then fasting the entire day (no food, no water) finally arriving at home around 6 o’clock, as the sun went down and the only thing you would hear was the beautiful loudspeaker on top of the minarets announcing that the fast for that day was over, as “Allahu Akbar” reverberated all around you.



The fast was broken with dates and then a DELICIOUS bowl of Harira (Hmmmmmm) while we saw the live broadcast from the Sacred Mosque in Mecca and the Imam leading the Mu’mineen (The Believers) in worship as he recited the Qur’an and prayed alongside them. It was awesome because the Qur’anic recitations were accompanied with English subtitles, so I actually understood what was being said. It was also a wonderful feat to see the Sacred Mosque in Mecca just filled with people, praying and worshipping the Lord and Cherisher of the Universe in a way that from my childhood I have always admired.


© http://www.sacred-destinations.com (many thanks)

Indeed, the images of Muslims bowing down in reverent humility at the same time and at the same place, always stirred such a feeling of awe and love for those people, who although different in their faith from me, were still humble enough to get on their knees and worship God. And it was also cool, because as the month went on and its days dwindled down, the mosque and the surrounding areas became more and more filled with worshippers, insomuch that by the end of Ramadan, people were everywhere (and I mean EVERYWHERE) facing the Kaba’a as they prayed: in the mosque, on the streets, on the roof tops (in fact on the very roof tops of the Sacred Mosque), and everywhere around the mosque. It made the Day-Without-an-Immigrant parade of last year look like a tiny speck when compared to the amount of people that were in Mecca during those holy days. It was, as we say in Latin, Mirabile Dictu!


© http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org (many thanks)

That was the daily routine as we ate and drank together and rejoiced to be in each other’s company. After some minutes, we turned the TV to MBC 2 where we would see this incredibly funny show in Moroccan Arabic called “Camera Lakum” which stared Moroccan Actress (I forget her name) and later on “Khalid Bin Al-Waleed,” a show which portrayed the beginnings of Islam, its rise and spread, and its arrival to the furthest lands of the West, a.k.a. Morocco. They were both wonderful shows, I must say!



But what I remember most during Ramadan was this hilarious Saudi satire featuring this guy named Fu’aad and his band of friends. The show was called “Tash Maa Tash Arbatash” (Arbatash means 14 in Arabic), because it was in its 14th season on the air! I don’t remember ever laughing so much and so hard in my LIFE, ladies and gentlemen; it was comical, it was entertaining, it was rated “the Best Gulf Series” during Ramadan . . . it was Tash Maa Tash! Priceless, just, just Priceless! I just remember this one episode where they were making fun of the extremist groups that exist in Saudi Arabia and which train Mujahideen (Jihad warriors) to blow themselves and to kill Kuffaar (Infidels) and how the guys who train these men to carry out these acts only speak fully-cased FuSHa (very antiquated and elevated classical Arabic with all it’s case inflections and proverbial mannerisms)



Something which I should mention is that Saudi Arabia and its interpretation of Islam is soooooo strict (according to the vast majority of Muslims) that it sometimes considers fellow Muslims who don’t adhere to its specific interpretation and application of Islam and Islamic law to be apostates and infidels. That is extreme, but we must remember that that’s just Saudi Arabia. Anyways, the episode was a satirical representation of those groups and the funny part was that towards the end of the episode, we have the Jihad Academy graduation and this big room filled with the Mujahideen-in-training among which three were selected to be top of the class. The graduates would then vote for who would make the best Mujahid and as a prize, they would give him an explosive belt. So the three finalist are of course Fu’aad (our main guy), and two other guys: Abu Al-Baraa’ and Abu TalHa. The votes are submitted and you see them appearing on a fluctuating meter off to the side, next to each of the candidates’ names. Fu’aad gets 10% of the vote, Abu Al-Baraa’ gets 25% of the vote and Abu TalHa takes it with 65%, upon which he jumps up and cries out “Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahu Akbar!” And you have to understand the character which is Abu TalHa: here’s a guy (in the show) who’s skinny, who walks around with outstretched neck, hunched back, and whose lower jaw protrudes so much that it seems he’s always got a smile on his face. And throughout the entire episode, he keeps saying “Fajr! Fajr! Fajr!” (Explode! Explode! Explode”) and “Damar! Damar! Damar!” (Destruction! Destruction! Destruction!) and “Allaaaaaaaaahu Akbar” as a toothless old man would say it and you can’t help but laugh when you hear it (the former really long and the latter really short and crisp)

So, Abu TalHa is selected as #1 Mujahideen, Valedictorian of his Jihad Academy class, and celebrates his victory, exclaiming: “Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahu Akbar!” with both arms in the air, while those in the crowd shout back: “Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!” The leader of the group, Sheykh Abu Leith then comes up to present an anxious and eager Abu TalHa with his prize and then helps him put the explosive belt on. He congratulates him with “Mabarakun 3aleyka haatha al-Hizaam yaa Abaa TalHa” and the crowd roars with 4 Allahu Akbars and Abu TalHa’s only response to his overwhelming joy is: “Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahu Akbar!” as he presses the button to the explosive belt and blows himself and everyone else up! And you can’t help but laugh when you realize that he actually just did that, because he was soooooo ready to blow himself up and to kill some Infidels, but just then he blows himself and everyone in the room up, something completely unexpected as the entire screen turns into a mix of smoke and fire! It was one of the funniest things I ever seen and everyone who was there watching it with me, Barakat and Younis, and later on, Nadia, Sanae, and Baba, we all could not help but just DIE from laughter, it was soooooo funny! And you see, that’s the beauty of a satire! You can poke fun and make light of society and daily life and the reality that you’re living, whether you’re here in America or Saudi Arabia. That’s how life is and there’s nothing else to do, but to accept that it has its crazy moments and that oft times, it’s ridiculously funny! Except for the fact that the actors of Tash Maa Tash actually got a death threat by some of the extremist groups in Saudi Arabia, once they saw the episode. Now that’s NOT funny!

Coming Soon: Tales from the Qarawiyyiin – Part I: The Awakening