Wedding Bells? Far from it! Well . . . maybe!

So, in one of my last conversations with Mama Aïsha back in Fès, she expressed her interest and excitement for me getting married really soon. The conversation actually resulted from her catching a quick glimpse of this new invention called “Facebook” as I sat in the living room writing friends short messages and reading the news from back home. She actually thought one of my friends on the site was a real “Zweena” (Beauty) in her sweet, motherly opinion. And she was sure right about that, tell you what! Mothers are ALWAYS right!

Dating here in the Middle East is a big deal! Let me take that back: It’s a HUGE deal! I remember one time back at BYU I asked a girl (no names here people) from the Middle East, if she ever wanted to get together and “hang out.” Her response: “Sorry, I don’t do that in my culture!” I was shocked, I mean, this was America, this was BYU, Happy Valley, the dating captial of the world, and she said “No”?! I remember learning a lot about Arab culture, social norms and proper interaction between the sexes from that one experience and I thought I had it ALL down (or at least, some minute fragment of it). Boy, did all that come crashing down in a tower of confusion and flabbergasting stiffness when a friend of mine (a girl) gave me hug in public upon my leaving Fès last year. Here was a lovely young woman and she had come to see me off at the train station and I was shocked that instead of shaking my hand as I extended it, she wrapped her arms around me and said goodbye. I didn’t know what to do, I mean, here was this girl, we were IN public, there were people everywhere, she was VEILED, and I thought I was gonna get yelled at or hurt or maybe cut or something. Luckily no one said a thing; I was safe, but shocked stiff nonetheless.

Like I said before, dating is a big deal, and it should be to everyone! I mean, if you think about it, it’s the window to getting to know one’s significant other really well before one actually commits. Thinking about my current situation and where I’ll be in a couple of months, I thought I would create a set of “tools” to help me cheat the system! One of these tools is this survey. I’m thinking I’m going to send this home in my weekly email to my mom with specific instructions for her to help me find a wife for me, Middle East Style. You laugh at my idea, but In Shaa Allah, this survey will be handed out by my mom to all the ladies that are possibly to be my wife.


Question No. 1:
How old are you?
a) 18
b) 19
c) 20
d) 21

Question No. 2:
How much of a wife’s time needs to be spent in the kitchen?
a) 90% or less
b) 94% or less
c) 96% or less
d) 98% of more

Question No. 3:
On the 1 to 10 scale, How of a good cook are you?
1) I can’t cook worth a dime
10) I can cook like George Foreman

Question No. 4:
How much money does your father have?
a) A lot of it
b) Stacked
c) Extremely Wealthy
d) Does not know what do with his money

Question No. 5:
How many kids do you want to have?
a) 4 or more
b) 5 or more
c) 6 or more
d) 10 or more

Question No. 6:
Bottom Line, Do you also want a career?
a)Yes
b)No

Question No. 7:
What percentage of your money is spent on clothes?
a) 1%
b) 2%
c) 5%
d) 90% or more

Question No. 8:
Define Chocolate:
a) Sweet Dark Thing
b) Tasty Dessert
c) Soul Food
d) A women’s best friend

Question No. 9:
Did you major in any of the following majors:
a) Social Science
b) Children Education
c) Family Therapy
d) Dance

Question No. 10:
Where would you want to go on a honeymoon?
a) Pakistan/Afghanistan borders
b) Baghdad
c) Somalia
d) Darfur